A middle-of-the-night negotiation with Mother Nature.

They say sleepless nights during pregnancy prepare you for what’s to come. Like-if you figure out how to function-on-fumes before you have a baby, that once you actually have that baby-you’ll be soooooo ready.

But I can’t help but want to tell that person (whoever you are-person who came up with this piece of sage advice) that I ahem-already had a baby.

Not to mention-it wasn’t like YEARS ago either.

It was A year ago. Thirteen months ago, to be precise. And while I appreciate mother nature’s attempt to once again “prepare me for the sleepless nights to come once the baby arrives…” I’d like to kindly and ever-so-gently remind mother nature…

I FREAKIN’ REMEMBER! I am ever so blessed to have a memory which recalls way further back than thirteen months. In fact, I can remember YEARS back. Crazy, huh?

Here-I’ll prove it to you.  I remember it all.

I remember the heavy eyelids.

I remember the “stumbling walk.” You know that walk that could be misconstrued for a drunkin’ stumble, but is really just a new mother’s attempt to stumble from her bedroom to her baby’s nursery at 3 AM for a feeding in the dark.

I remember the engorged boobs. You know-the boobs that go from prepubescent to porn-star status in a matter of days?

(And Daddy Perks remembers them too. I didn’t wear a shirt for the first month after Henry was born. It seemed like WAY too much work to put one on at the time.)

I remember the delirious states in which I changed diapers and then thought, “wait-did I change his diaper already?”

I EVEN remember thinking-“Oh god-will it always be this hard?”

And then, all of a sudden…it wasn’t that hard.

So mother nature (or whatever universal force is at hand) I beg of you-PUHLEASE let me go back to sleep.

If you do-I promise, promise, PROMISE not to complain in 4 months when the sleepless nights slap me in the face again.

In fact Mother Nature…(oh yes-we are having a full-on conversation at this point…) I’ll even up the ante. I’ll allow my loyal PERKS followers to call me out if I try to complain come February.  And believe me mother nature. My readers ARE RUTHLESS.

So when late February rolls around, and I’m a few weeks into mothering a newborn and a 1 1/2 year-old…and I’m throwing my hands up in the air in the middle of the night, and turning to my blog out of desperation because I’m-so-tired-and-can’t-sleep-because-I’ve-got-a-baby-attached-to-my-boob, I’ll concede. I’ll know that I’ve earned those sleepless nights.

And you won’t hear me complaining. Nope-not one bit.

Do we have a deal?

And while I’m in the business of striking up deals…I’d also like to propose a deal to my unborn son.

Baby Boy Perks # 2…(for which we have YET to pick a name) could we agree that you reschedule your gymnastic classes for the daytime hours? I have a feeling your middle-of-the-night somersaults and headstands may have something to do with why I’m up at 3:59 am on a Saturday morning.

Uh oh-please don’t tell me my son and Mother Nature are working together…

We’re MORE than halfway to having…

…a starting lineup for a basketball team.

…a foursome of men for the golf course.

…an empty pantry.

Why, you ask?

Because it looks like Mama Perks is DESTINED to be outnumbered.

Baby Perks # 2 is ALL. BOY.

A couple weeks ago when Daddy Perks and I took Henry to find out his “fate,” aka the gender of his sibling-we were all giggles as Dr. M told us another boy was on the way. I’m thrilled to know that Henry will have a play-mate, and hopefully a best friend in his little brother.  Since they’ll be a mere 17 months apart-it’s crazy to think that they may end up being a single grade apart from each other in school. It will depend if we decide to send Henry to kindergarten early or late…

BUT-I probably don’t need to start thinking that far ahead quite yet. After all, my mind is PLENTY busy trying to wrap my brain around how I’m going to handle all THREE of the Perkins boys.

Oh boy.

And since we’re on the topic of boys…I happened to think Henry continues to defy the odds by becoming a sweeter, more handsome, lovable little boy every. single. day.

Did I mention? He’s a little bit ornery too.

 

 

The 4-1-1 on Baby Perks # 2.

You would NOT believe how many readers have harassed me to get the word out about Baby Perks # 2.

(Secretly I love being harassed by readers…It makes me feel like a real blogger/writer with fans who actually care about what I write on here.)

Ok loyal PERKS followers…is Baby Perks # 2 what we’re officially calling this new bambino? The first time around Baby Perks was such an easy roll-off-the-tongue choice…

But for some reason…Baby Perks NUMBER 2 seems like SUCH a mouthful.

Perhaps this is of significance because Baby Perks # 2 (or whatever we decide to call he/she/it) will be…(insert dark, dreary music) the second child. You know-the one who enters our world in February when we already have a toddler whose current favorite past times are drinking mouthwash and brushing his hair while simultaneously trying to get the lids of red sharpie markers?

Something tells me by February Henry will have figured out how to get the top off that red sharpie marker, and while I’m deliriously tired and trying to toughen my boobs back up to nurse a newborn, my toddler son will be giving Picasso a run for his money on our walls.

I digress.

What were we talking about again?

Oh! Nicknames/blognames for Baby Perks # 2…well-I’m leaving it up to you guys.  Unless you guys give me some other shorter, witty, crafty, “I promise based on what I’m calling you on the blog that I love you just AS much as your brother” name…then I’m gonna stick with Baby Perks # 2. Heck, in a few weeks, we’ll know the sex of the baby and we can reevaluate right?

So just as I do for Henry’s monthly updates…here are Baby Perks # 2’s Quick Stats:

*Names/Nicknames: Baby Perks # 2 (please submit all other ideas in the comments section below.)

*Due Date: February 6, 2011.

*Sex: Unknown. (Until the middle of September when we have our 20 week appointment.) YES-we will be finding out the sex. Believe me-the conception of this baby in and of itself was surprise enough for Daddy Perks and I.

*Was this pregnancy planned? I was on birth control AND breastfeeding (a secondary form of contraception.) Does that answer your question?

*Are we excited? Unbelievably.

After Daddy Perks and I came down from the initial “oh-my-god-we-are-going-to-have-a-toddler-and-a-newborn-that-are-LESS-than-18 months-apart” shock, we took a deep breath and gave ourselves the good ol’ “God only gives us what we can handle” speech to one another and then jumped up and down with excitement. Actually, I have to dote on Daddy Perks for a minute. I’m not at all ashamed to admit that for the first few days after we found out, I did have a few “but I’ve already had my turn at pregnancy” moments.

And my husband. was. wonderful. He completely put my mind at ease, reminding me of what a wonderful gift we’d been given to have this opportunity to be parents again. I remember having a “this is (one of the bazillion reasons) why I married this man” moments and realizing how lucky I am to call him mine. Seriously.  You guys-you have NO idea how lucky I am to be married to Daddy Perks. Not only is he super funny and super hot, he is everything a wife would dream of for herself, and for the father of her children.

Not only does he work his full time corporate day job, but he’s picked up a 2nd job which he does a couple nights a week, mostly so that we can afford the opportunity for me to stay home with Henry. Oh! And he also makes a good chunk of change every month blogging. He’s an amazing writer and I promise you all, one day you will know his name because of what he accomplishes in this world.  He’s pretty much a baller. But ABOVE all that-he’s the most amazing father and husband to Henry and I.

Here’s an example of how…lately, he’s been coming home on his lunch break and taking Henry for an hour so I can go upstairs and rest. And let me tell you people-lunching with an almost 1 year-old is not exactly what one would call relaxing. Especially when our son eats his lunch as if he’s preparing for the next famine. Seriously people…watching Henry eat is like watching Kobayashi beat out Joey Chestnut in a hot dog eating contest. My son has somehow managed to turn eating into a sport. And Daddy Perks and I can barely keep up. I never knew the skills I had to tear food up into little pieces so quickly.

I digress. Again.

*How have you felt this pregnancy? I will say in certain ways, this pregnancy has been completely different than the first time around. With Henry I was sick, a lot. Do y’all remember how much I was throwing up? LOTS. Well-this time around I haven’t really been sick at all. In fact-in 17 weeks, I’ve only thrown up once. (YIPEE.) So for all you superstitious folk out there-one would think I’m having a girl. But since I don’t follow those wives tales, I’m holding out on making predictions about the gender of this baby. Although I’m convinced I’m destined to have all boys. I have this reoccurring nightmare that I can never keep my pantry full enough. It’s a lot like the reoccurring nightmare I continue to have in my adult life that my hair is a mess and soaking wet on prom night…

Now-as far as the exhaustion goes-it has been here in full force. Any woman who has been pregnant can probably affirm that the “tired” you feel when you are pregnant is unlike any “I shouldn’t have stayed up all night cramming for this final” tired you’ve felt in your life. And let me tell you-the 2nd time around is even more challenging to handle because now I have a toddler to entertain through my exhaustion. In a way, I feel like I’m back in the newborn stage with Henry, because lately when he naps, I nap. Hence, when Daddy Perks comes home for lunch and gives me a break, and I get an hour of down time, its a HUGE help to me.

So I’m anxiously awaiting the 2nd trimester burst of energy, as I’ve been in the 2nd trimester for almost a month now. And once that comes, I think we’ll be smooth sailing in the Perks’ household. At least that will be the case until I have a watermelon-sized belly and Henry doesn’t understand why I don’t want to crawl up and down the stairs for the “just for fun.”

SO, there you go PERKS followers. Now you have the 4-1-1 on Baby Perks #2. What other questions can I answer for you? Don’t be shy. For god’s sake I talk about my boobs on here and I know that my in-laws read this. Clearly I’m an open book.

Until we meet again, happy hump-day y’all.

Oh! One more thing…I assume some of you are going to request a belly shot. It’s coming…I promise.

Soaking in our newest PERK…

Wanna know what it is?

Brace yourselves…it’s not EVEN the fact that in LESS than a month this little guy is going to be turning one.

ONE! As in…his life will no longer be measured in months.

Lately, we’ve been busy soaking in the fact that in early 2011…he’s going to be a big brother.

Life is quite literally, full of MORE perks these days.  One more-to be exact. And he/she will be joining our crazy-ahem, perky family in February.

And we couldn’t be more thrilled.

Stories and tales of how our little family of three will become four to come…but for now…Happy Monday loyal PERKS followers.

(I mean seriously-can we pause and appreciate how studly Henry looks in this picture? We used it for his 1st Birthday invitation. Now who could RSVP “No” to that face?)

Quick Henry Fix…

We’re still in the hospital…but I wanted to give the faithful followers a quick peak at my little monkey man…

He’s very pensive.

He’s found his thumb already.

We come home from the hospital tomorrow and once we find our new “normal” I promise to give you all the PERKS of the last few days!

A Haiku for Henry.

Hurry up Henry.

You’ve been in there long enough.

Mom and Dad love you.

**Countdown to kickoff…43 hours**  (OR LESS!)

PS…Daddy Perks and I just got back from a 2 mile walk/jog which I followed up with some serious bouncing on the exercise ball.  Can’t hurt right?

One Last Lazy Saturday…

Although at this point we can all agree that we wish Henry was here…Daddy Perks and I are doing the most to enjoy our last baby-free Saturday.

We went to my brother’s football game this morning, curled up on the couch and watched a movie, took a 3 hour nap this afternoon, and we’ve got some friends coming over for dinner.  Something tells me that next Saturday’s agenda won’t be quite so care-free?

**Special shout out to my dear college friend Meredith who is walking “down the aisle” as we speak.  My less-than-cooperative baby boy has obviously prevented me from being in Indianapolis for her wedding today, but I’m certainly there in spirit.**  Love you Mere!

Thank you SO much to all of you for your calls, texts, and messages-they have truly gotten me and my belly through these past few days.

And for the record…I am well aware that spicy food and other ahem-“adult activities” are supposed to induce labor.  Believe me when I say WE HAVE TRIED IT ALL.

For those of you who are fans of countdowns…at this point we are talking mere hours until our “poky little puppy” finally makes his debut into the world…

We head to the hospital in 70 hours! (OR LESS for all you optimists out there!)

Henry Perks…AKA…the tease.

How much did I wish that I was going to be able to make a post today from the hosptial bed?!?

No. Such. Luck.

Daddy Perks and I headed to our appointment yesterday with an extra hitch in our giddy-up.  Eager first-time parents past their due date anxiously awaiting the arrival of their little one, we put our best foot forward and decided that we were destined to hear one of two things from our doctor…

1.) “Head to the hospital!”

OR

2.) “Let’s schedule an induction for tomorrow!”

Wishful thinking much?

Instead the following exchange took place between us and our doctor (who we LOVE by the way) :

Doctor: “You’re 3 CM dialated and I really think you can do this on your own.  I know we talked about scheduling an induction today, and we will-BUT, I’m confident that you won’t make it to that induction based on what I’m seeing from you today.  You can do this on your own, and I know you’ll be much happier if you go into labor on your own vs. having to be induced.”

Daddy Perks: “So, what happens if she doesn’t go into labor naturally?  Can we schedule an induction for later this week?  Like tomorrow?  Or Friday?”

Doctor: “You’re not going to like it, but I was thinking let’s hold off until next Tuesday, September 1st to induce her.”

At this point Daddy Perks and I look at each other and back at him with the following look on our faces which translates into…

“You don’t want to induce us for ANOTHER SIX DAYS ?!?”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  (Internal screaming that occured in both of our brains as this reality set in.)

Doctor: “Look, I know you’re anxious, but here’s the reality.  Most first-time moms go past their due dates.  So right now, you’re still part of the norm.  And I know these last few days are tough…but that baby is bound to come out sooner or later when he’s ready.  If I induce you, your labor will most likely take between 12 and 24 hours.  If you go into labor natually, then it’s likely to be a LOT quicker and more enjoyable.  So hang with me.  If you’re still pregnant next Tuesday morning, then we’ll move forward with the induction.  I’m confident we won’t need to because I think you’ll go into labor natually some time in the next few days.”

Can we get that last part in writing?

So-that’s the update.

Daddy Perks and I continue to wait.  I continue to be huge.  Our friends and family continue to answer their phones with dire anticipation in their voices every time we call.

All the while, our sweet little Baby Perks continues to be nestled safely in utero-laughing at all of us, thinking to himself…

“I think I’ll hang out in here just a bit longer.  Hehe.”

40. Weeks. Pregnant.

August 24, 2009…the DUE date.

I thought I’d give Henry all the glory he’s earned for making it this far…

My sister took this belly shot tonight to officially document the fact that I WE have made it ALL 40 WEEKS.

I can hardly believe it.  As a girlfriend of mine put it the other night…

“You must have a really comfy uterus.”

Wow.  As I type this I’m looking back up at this picture and realizing just how attractive my swollen fingers look.  Just call me one HOT mama. Anyways, the bottom line is…although Henry and I have made this journey together…apparently he’s the one calling the shots about exactly when he wants his birthday to be.  If it had been up to me and all my lame attempts at induding labor, my little man would have been here weeks days ago. And after our doctor’s appointment this past week I would have put money on the fact that he would have been here by now.  But apparently he’s sticking with the statistics which say that first-time mommys tend to have an average pregnancy of 40 weeks and 3 days.  Now-if that’s the case Henry will arrive on Thursday.  BUT-we’ve got another doctor’s appointment scheduled for Wednesday…so chances are, by that point we’ll have a MUCH better idea of exactly when we can expect Henry to arrive.  As I said before…my doctor promised that he won’t let me go more than a week past my due date, so at the very latest…we are looking at August 31st as the BIG day.

In other news…Daddy Perks and I had another lovely baby-less weekend.  We went to a baseball game on Saturday night, ran some errands today, (including what I’m hoping is our LAST trip to Babies ‘R Us before the baby arrives) hit up one of our favorite lunch spots & book stores, and then enjoyed a nice steak dinner this evening with my family.  My mom insisted that we play Wii bowling after dinner in an attempt to send me into labor.  (Little does she know…that if the 4 AM lunges and squats I’ve been doing the past few nights aren’t doing the trick, I doubt a few flicks of the wrists is going to be the answer to my labor prayers.)  Yes you read that correctly…as far as trying to force myself into labor goes…I have tried. it. all.  I mean EVERYTHING.  (Thanks to each of you who left comments/suggestions on the labobr-inducing tricks that worked for you…like I said-apparently Henry’s got his own agenda.)

I’m officially on maternity leave now-so until the babe arrives I’ll be getting my game-face on for the big day…trying to stay busy, but also rest up and conserve my energy to make for a smooth labor/delievery.

As I reflect back on the past 40 weeks, words can’t even describe how incredibly blessed I feel to be surrounded by so many loving and supportive people as Daddy Perks and I begin this new chapter in our lives.  We are overwhelmed by the excitement and love we feel from so many of you in anticipation of Henry’s arrival…as you can imagine, we are on the edge of our seats waiting for my water to break or for contractions to really kick into high gear.

I promise that since I’m officially done working that I’ll keep you as up-to-date as I can on the minute-by-minute developments of Baby Perks’ BIG Arrival.

And just so I don’t get accused of not giving an official full-sized belly bump update…here’s a full shot of yours truly 40. Weeks. Pregnant.

Good thing the shirt I’m wearing doesn’t draw ANY unwanted attention to my mid-section.

Any day now…

Daddy Perks and I had another doctor’s appointment today.

I have definitely progressed from last week…I’m dialated 2 cm…the baby is starting to drop…I’m “much softer” this week then last…and my doctor “stripped my membranes” (sorry for the specifics but I promised to keep my loyal readers updated).

So…that being said…little Henry could literally be here any. day. now.

I made sure to add extra crushed red pepper to my spaghetti dinner tonight…I figure why not throw a little extra spicy food into the mix to move my little man along?!?

Other than that…not too much going on around the Perks household.  If you were a fly on the wall at our house these days you might find me vigorously bouncing on an exercise ball and enjoying our last few days of “quiet” before the baby arrives.

I promise that IF there’s any news to report…we’ll be doing our best to keep LIFOP updated so you can keep up on all the action.  We’ll have our computer with us at the hospital so hopefully we’ll have LOTS of PERKS to share in the coming days!!!