Closet Confidential: A Mother’s Edition.

9 Apr

Let’s cut right to the chase.

That tube top I wore in Acapulco, Mexico when I was on spring break as a senior in college…it’s never going to see the light of day again-not on this body at least. 

And I’m ok with that.  I think we can all cringe a little when we look book at the pictures of what we thought was SO FASHIONABLE, even  just a few years ago. 

It’s funny how fashion trends evolve and change so quickly isn’t it?  One woman’s trashy skinny jean outfit can become another fashion designer’s  skinny jean treasure on the runway.  All in the blink of an eye.  You only need to look as far as the current fashion trends to remind you of this…

Clogs and rompers are on the rise.  Who knew?

So a few months ago I decided that it was time for a closet overhaul.  A weeding out of the “no-way no-how” clothing articles that I won’t be wearing ever again.  Clothes were put into the “donate” pile for any and all of the following reasons: too tight, too loose, too high, too short, too stretchy, not stretchy enough, too neon, too formal, not comfy, too young looking, too dated,  etc.

You get the idea.

It’s not just that I’m a mom now.  Baby or no baby…there are just certain pairs of Abercrombie & Fitch denim jeans that it was time to part ways with.  And I decided to do so amicably.  No need for there to be harsh words exchanged, or hurt feelings…just a friendly going away party for a few of my cotton and denim cronies. 

And Lord knows it was time for me to accept that those clothes would do a lot more good in the world by being donated to the salvation army then they would hanging in my closet for another year. 

And don’t even get me started on the whole “I’ll just take my pile of clothes over to Plato’s Closet and see how much money I can get for them.”  SAVE  YOURSELF THE HEARTACHE.  When the snarky sales associate offers you a measely $13.50 for what you know to be hundreds of dollars worth of clothes, you’ll realize that your clothes will be put to much better use if you donate them to someone who really needs them.

Is it a pride thing us women can’t let go of when it comes to parting ways with clothes?  No-I’m being serious.  Think about how many times you’ve taken a shirt off the hanger from your closet that hasn’t been worn in days, months, or even years-you look at it, and then it goes right back on the hanger, not to be seen or worn ever again. 

Is it because we miss how skinny we were when we actually worth this shirt?  Or the special memories we have with a boy when we wore that dress?  Or how about the “well maybe this will come back into fashion and my daughter will want to wear this vintage piece someday” excuse?  Don’t we all wish that someday when our daughter is searching for the perfect outfit, they could just saunter into our closet and pull out a top and think “my mom used to be so cool.” 

In fact…a certain denin button-all-the-way-up-the-front dress from the Gap circa early 1990’s comes to mind.  The owner of this hot number is a dear, dear friend of mine.  I happened to be over at her house years ago as she was going through her closet and we came across the dress and both had a good laugh.  When I was giving her a hard time about why she had kept the dress for so long, she immediately lit up, remembering how much she had loved wearing that dress, and how she felt in it.

Oh Ladies-let’s not kid ourselves…we have all the excuses in the world for why we desperately cling to our wardrobes from another lifetime.

What’s currently sitting in your closet taking up space?  Enjoy the perks of a good spring cleaning and come to terms with the fact that if you haven’t worn it in over a year, it’s time to say goodbye.  I promise, you’ll be glad you did.

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4 Responses to “Closet Confidential: A Mother’s Edition.”

  1. abs April 11, 2010 at 5:23 pm #

    i did a little closet cleaning myself over break and i too decided that it was about time i gave up several college spring break tanks. they were difficult to part with but i will always have the photographs to remember the memories 🙂

    i am interested to know the owner of the button down dress!!

  2. Jaime Burke April 12, 2010 at 3:30 pm #

    ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
    I was dying laughing reading this and you were soooooo right! I’m still cracking up! Love you.
    ohhhh denim dress how I will miss you… and the 90’s! LOL!

  3. Rach April 12, 2010 at 8:15 pm #

    Okay, you have completely talked me into cleaning out my closet. I have been meaning to for months, but I MUST FIND TIME b/c it really is a sad sight. Thanks for the inspiration and for the laugh. You are a comedian.

  4. Tiff April 12, 2010 at 10:17 pm #

    Yes, I agree with Rach, you are def a comedian! I cannot tell you how many times I HAVE actually cleaned out my closet, telling myself if I haven’t worn it in the past year, it’s gotta go, and then keeping a few pairs of those “skinny” jeans from sophomore year that I always felt looked so good on. (I mean it’s reasonable to think that if I can actually lose enough weight to sqeeze back into them that my booty will look like it did 10 years ago, right? Right?)
    Dang, I gotta get rid of those things! LOL!

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