A few things they DON’T tell you…

7 Dec

Ok…time to get brutally honest.

You may be thinking this post will only benefit you if you’re actually pregnant.  BUT I’m  here to tell you-if you’ve got a bun in the oven, you’re a woman who may someday decide to procreate, OR-even if you’re a man with the intention of impregnating your wife someday…read on at your own risk.

I’ve now officially been a Mommy for a little over 3 months…and while 99% of that time has been what I like to refer to as ” cake and cookies”-there have been a few realities that my fellow mommies failed to mention in their efforts to prepare me for the exciting life journey of Motherhood.

I knew there’d be sleepless nights.  (Thank god-not too many for me.)

I knew there’d be moments where I’d be spit up as I was walking out the door.

I even knew that I would probably take on a whole new appreciation for bodily functions-becoming an absolute cheerleader for my son’s regular bowel movements and frequent burping.

I DID NOT however know that the following…

Around 3 months after you have a baby-you may start losing LOTS of hair.

I’m not trying to be dramatic- (and thank goodness I’ve got some hair to spare) but for the last week and a half, every time I run my fingers through my hair a disturbing chunk of hair comes out in my hand.  I thought I was going crazy until another teacher at school told me this is completely normal and pretty typical around this time after giving birth.  My hair stylist also added that I can look forward to my hairline completely changing about the time Henry turns one year old.  AWESOME.  I was hoping in addition to the stretch marks and an unusually elastic stomach-that I’d still be seeing the physical side effects of giving birth a year. after. the. fact.

All you breast-feeders out there…

You may grow accustomed to leaving the house in a top that fits you perfectly, only to find that a few hours later, the buttons are close to popping off due to the fact that it’s time to feed your child.  The idea that my boobs (sorry Dad, Father-In-Law, brothers, guy friends, and or any other readers uncomfortable with me referencing this body part-you should know that these days they are feeding device and nothing more) can range 3 different sizes all in the same day is still strange no matter how many times I witness it happen.  I experienced this the other day and found it necessary to visit a dressing room in a retail store, NOT to try on clothes, but to allow Henry to aid in my quest to help my shirt fit once again.  (And we moms think our kids are dependent on us…pshaw.)

Ok-maybe I’ll stick with two mommy-isms today.  Wouldn’t want to unload too many shockers on you all at once.  Hopefully, you realize I share these things with my readers, only so that they’ve got a few less suprises thrown at them as they venture down the road of becoming a mom, being married to a mom, or just educating oneself on the perks of life with a little one.

Happy Monday Perks Followers.


5 Responses to “A few things they DON’T tell you…”

  1. mamahiggins December 7, 2009 at 9:04 pm #

    This is too funny! Well, being a reader it’s funny..I may not think it’s so funny when it’s happening to me! Hang in there lady! xoxo

  2. Tiff December 8, 2009 at 3:01 pm #

    Right there with ya girl! The whole hair-falling-out-thing hasn’t hit me just yet, but I’m sure it’s just right around the corner… Can totally relate to the breastfeeding one. Wes will say, “Just take a bottle, it’ll be easier and faster” when we’re headed to dinner or the mall or somewhere. I just look at him and say, “Easier for who? What about ME and my BOOBS?!” His response, “Oh yeah! They always mess things up!” (Of course, he’s kidding!)
    Great post! PLEASE let me know if there’s any other “perks” i have to look forward to around 3 months…. LOL! 🙂

  3. Rach December 10, 2009 at 1:40 am #

    I should have told you not to wear those button front shirts for a while. Sorry!!!:)

  4. Abby December 14, 2009 at 6:15 pm #

    Ha! The shirt thing is soooo true! I remember being at school, looking down around mid-morning, and thinking, “Those were totally not there after I nursed this morning. And now!”

  5. Bethany December 18, 2009 at 10:53 pm #

    I think you should share the good ol’ perk of waking up the day after having a baby and feeling like a truck ran you over {down there}…now THAT was something nobody ever mentioned to me pre-kids!!!!!!

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