A Few PERKS I Miss…

2 Jun

Uninterrupted sleep.  Long gone are the days of 7-8 hours of continuous sleep.  My nights are now regularly interrupted by back pains, bathroom breaks, and baby kicks.  

A fully functioning brain.  Truth.  This one could in large part be linked to my lack of uninterrupted sleep. However…even in the first trimester when I was sleeping like a rock I still suffered from a bad case of the “mommy mind” or “pregnancy brain” as many women fondly refer to it.  Due to this, I am liable to forget to perform simple tasks such as returning phone calls, taking showers, remembering birthdays, attending significant events (aka I almost forgot about my brother’s graduation this past weekend), keeping dates straight, etc.  I CAN however always remember to do the following…sit for hours feeling my sweet baby boy kick around in my tummy, regularly drive through McDonald’s and order a quarter pounder with cheese value meal (large sized of course…the extra fries are for Henry), spend endless amounts of time thinking about nursery decor, have regular nightmares about breastfeeding (the most recent one was that I accidentally breastfed Daddy Perks instead of Henry), and fall more in love with my wonderful husband (after I move on from the thought of accidentally breastfeeding him.)

Skinny Jeans & Mall Browsing.  Those of you who have called me while I’m perusing the mall know what I’m talking about.  Each time I now step into a retail setting, I immediately start to sense anxiety about all the fun clothes my body is no longer equipped to wear.  Don’t get me wrong-I’m still having one steamy affair with elastic waistbands.  However, as summer rolls around and girls begin to trot around in short shorts and skimpy tank tops, I spend my days dreaming of which tent-like frock will make me look the least “whale-like.”  I’m in a constant battle to find patterns and materials that draw attention away from my mid-section (believe me…Henry/my belly are getting plenty of attention all on their own.) As my belly grows outward, my hatred for florescent lighting and Target dressing rooms grows upward. 

Ability To Stand Up From a Couch, Chair, or Bed Without Using Hands.  Not exactly sure when this simple task snuck out of my bag of tricks.  I do know that I’m super glad when Daddy Perks is around and I have to stand up because he’s always there to lend a helping hand to aid in his pathetic and pregnant better half trying to shift from a sitting/laying position to fully upright.  Laugh now people.  Ladies-someday this will be you.  And gentleman-someday this will be your wife.  Getting out of bed is the most pathetic.  I’m now beginning to master a roll/twist/swing the legs manuver which could probably be turned into an extremely lucrative instructional video for first-time mommys.

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2 Responses to “A Few PERKS I Miss…”

  1. Jaime Burke June 2, 2009 at 11:48 pm #

    your last point here made me laugh out loud!!! ohhh how I remember – the getting out of bed bit – is spot on!!!! I got to the point where trying to tie my shoes was like performing in a circus act! – thank God it’s summer and that means flip flops!!! love you!

  2. Jacquie June 4, 2009 at 7:47 pm #

    Getting out of bed was made easier with our Select Comfort bed. It’s like an elevator… want to up, crank it up to 100. Going to sleep… sigh and the whole bed can sigh with you. 🙂 You’re so close! The next few weeks will seem like they’re taking forever and then you’ll look up one day and wonder where they’ve all gone. Good luck!

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