Calling All Denim Lovers…The Skinny Jeans Have Left the Building.

27 Feb

It’s offical.  I’m hanging up my skinny jeans.   Throw them in the “save for next fall/winter” box,  squeeze ’em next to that pair of horrific whitewashed jeans from your freshman year of high school (that you hold onto NOT because they’re still in style, but because when you’re feeling really skinny you can still zip them up)-whatever you do…say goodbye to the bliss that once was Express Low-rise Dark Denim Skinnies.  

I had dinner with a fabulous girlfriend this evening.  As I quickly threw together an outfit (a feat that is challenging these days as I ride the wave between regular clothes and maternity clothes) I really had an itch to sport my favorite tall black boots.  Now ladies, you know what I mean when I say, wearing boots over jeans is not a walk in the park unless you rock a good pair of skinnies under them.  Otherwise, you find yourself winded just trying to shove your bootcut jeans down into a too-tight ankle which can eventually lead to throwing in the towel all together and opting for sweatpants and Ugg boots.  SO, I bravely reached into my closet for my favorite jeans.  That pair that you can always count on.  That pair that you never want to wash because of how soft they feel, and how good they fit after a few wears.  In fact, if you’re me, you might be embarrassed to admit just how long it’s been since your denim bff’s have danced through the wash & rinse cycle.  But I digress…if you’ve been reading lately, then you know, I’ve actually been cheating on my skinnies lately because I recently discovered God’s gift to women: maternity jeans.  Anyway, it has been a few weeks since I rocked the skinnies and this evening I took a deep breath to see if they might just have a little life left in them.  Praise the lord-they zipped.  Then I went to dinner.  Then I sat at a 90 degree angle in a chair. Then I indulged in a “few” pieces of bread.  Then I had one of my favorite pasta dishes-Chicken Diablo.  Then I may or may not have asked for a bit more bread (after she took my licked-clean pasta dish away.)  And of course, at this point in the meal, I convinced myself it was imperative that I rid the sodium and carbohydrate remains in my mouth away with a delicious dessert.  Sigh.

At this point my waistline went to a bad place people.  A deep dark cloud of regret hovered above me in the restaraunt as I longed for the blissful comfort that I knew my MJ’s (maternity jeans) could be bringing me at that very moment.  Instead I was faced with a reality that my midsection was currently revolting against my denim bottoms.  It’s as if Baby Perks was screaming out to me… “Mom-throw me a bone here-or at least a little growing room.  In case you forgot, I’m growing half an inch by the week now, and I’d appreciate a little “give” in the clothes you’re sporting these days!”  You’re so right Baby Perks.  NEVER again, will I cause you strife.  Mark it down…for the first time,  (for what I’m sure will be many in his/her lifetime) I am apologizing to my child.   Let’s be honest…it’s not like Baby Perks went apartment hunting and landed in my uterus because it was offering the first month’s rent free.  Oh no-it’s just what happened when Daddy Perks’ seed made the long journey to Mommy Perks’ egg and together they travelled to an inviting spot where they could cozy up for approximately nine months and leave the rest up to fate.  

 All I’m saying is, when it comes to my kid-they deserve nothing but the best.  And right now if that means elastic waistbands and 300-ish extra calories a day to appease them, far be-it for me to deny my little one the simple perks in life.


3 Responses to “Calling All Denim Lovers…The Skinny Jeans Have Left the Building.”

  1. Erin February 27, 2009 at 10:11 am #

    haha, this is pretty good linds. although i must comment on the double social night you’ve had…and you say it never happens 😉 LOVE YA!

  2. mommyghee February 27, 2009 at 8:48 pm #

    Love those maternity jeans because they will be your favorites-even after the baby is born!

  3. Rachie February 28, 2009 at 1:28 am #

    HAHAHA. Too funny, Lindz. I love the MJ abbrev. Enjoy those extra calories (and desserts). They will make Baby Perks happy. How long until we find out if it’s a boy or girl? I am DYING to know.

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